honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
