Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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