p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
