wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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