paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We got so high we made milksteak
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
