"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
