I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
