chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
