Sponge bath it is.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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