Someone shit on the floor
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
