I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
