we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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