please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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