please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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