I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
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just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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