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The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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