Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
