the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
