32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
