I can't watch pbs sober anymore
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
