obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
