Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
