so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
