There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
