My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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