I want to have your abortion
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
