Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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