Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Send help, water and tortillas.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
