I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
