Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize