Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
His nipple licking is glorious
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