I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
