So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
this hospital has no fireball
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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