If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?