I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
