Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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