Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
