Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
