My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
meet me or not, i'm out of control
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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