Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
