im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize