tell your sister to shave her snatch
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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