he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
now i know why i became what i already was.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
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