I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize