Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
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Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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