Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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