i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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