Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
is wine microwaveable?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
