i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
