Yo dont text me then not text me
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize