I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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