sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
