is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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