hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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