He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
