Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
