Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
false alarm, still single
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
