Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
false alarm, still single
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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