Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
