No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
