So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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