meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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