What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
