He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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