I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
