I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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