So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
