Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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