The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
